Take control of your life
There is nothing more attractive than someone who is in charge of their own life. That means you can choose how you spend your time and nobody forces you to. If now you decide to spend time with someone, they know it is from your honest heart and interest.
To get there it is important to get the basics squared away, meaning you have your finances under control, enjoy the work you do, and have a good standing at work and in your circle of friends. Keep your apartment reasonably clean, your car maintained, do something every single day that improves the quality of your life.
Be a real listener
Everyone always talks about “being a good listener”, but that falls slightly short of what it means to be a real listener. Learn to be interested in someone’s life, ask them about their feelings and opinions - and balance checking in with the need to give each other space.
Stand up for yourself and others
Life is so full of pushovers and people taking the easy way that you can stand out just by standing up.
That doesn’t mean anger and yelling and fighting - it much rather means that you find a way to avoid those, but that you take a firm stand against anything that doesn’t meet your values.
Bring calm into your life
Anger serves nobody, not even the person who made you angry. It is simply wasted time and mind space.
The same goes for bitterness and paranoia, they do not help you and will lead to avoiding the good things in life based on past bad experiences.
Being calm and rested in yourself is probably the best vibe you can give off, and one of the most attractive qualities.
Become a storyteller
Having a story to tell makes all the difference, no matter where you are. A story on the couch is just as good as a story told at a party, at work, on the train.
Stories don’t have to be insane or overly exciting, they can also be cute and funny, small and big. The art of telling it is worth more than the actual story behind that.
Find a passion (or several)
Too many people float through life with not a passion nor dream, nor interest in anything.
Finding a passion is one of the most attractive qualities because it shows that you can bring yourself to get up and do things, that you have a vivid imagination and an intrinsic motivation to make the most out of your days.
Finish what you start
This post nearly became “six attractive qualities” because I couldn’t come up with number 7, but then it hit me that finishing what you start is a great quality as well. That doesn’t mean you have to be successful, it may be even more powerful to admit defeat when the time comes instead of throwing good money and time after bad one.
It just means that you don’t half-ass anything and keep something running that you don’t enjoy anymore, be it hobbies, friendships, relationships.