Essential guidance for anyone who was wondering

What Most People Don't Understand About Sex

Sex is both cute and beautiful, at least when it doesn’t weigh you down or mess you up.

For how much everyone talks and thinks about sex, there are some very basic things that many people do not understand.

Sex is the boring alternative

Sex, even good sex, is boring compared to the things you could be doing instead. That’s not to say it isn’t nice, can be a relaxing break from reality and all those things - but if your idea of a great day requires sex to be involved, you are missing out.

You can travel and explore, joke and have fun, talk and dance or read and write. You could be climbing rocks or towers together, or descend into old wartime bunkers or maybe visit a cave.

I do a fair amount of all those things, living life and trying to have adventures I haven’t had before - and I am often accompanied by guys and girls who find it refreshing that I do not require sex to have fun with me.

Good sex touches both body and mind

I always find it sad when friends tell me of downright bad sex they are having, and how distanced it feels to even hear of it, much less be in that position. Too many guys believe that good sex is what they see in adult videos, and never understand why the romances in real movies are so much more engaging.

There is something beautiful about a night of being close and cuddling, of not even necessarily having sex, but falling asleep together on the couch. And there is something even better if you are so used to nights like that that you suddenly realize that both your minds start wandering, so do the hands and the clothes wander to the floor.

Sex is not worth being in pain for

I know too many people who are in relationships that are not good for them, losing themselves slowly or quickly, all because they feel like a bad relationship is better than no relationship.

Society is harmful in that way, placing so much focus on relationships to measure success, forcing many people into dating apps and ill-fated relationships they might not even go out and look for otherwise.

Good sex is awkward

The best sex is just not clean, methodic, well-planned and well-executed. It is awkward, giggle-worthy, interrupted, or sweaty. Uncomfortably comfortable. You may struggle with a bra, or clothes that don’t even offer resistance because your fingers slide off. You may do more cuddling than

Sex is not a transaction

I know that some of us go out and pay to have sex, but that is something different. I mean sex in a relationship, that is not a transactionary thing. It’s not “I helped you with the dishes, so you undress now and let me have my way” - it doesn’t work that way.