I live for cuddle sex, and I have no shame admitting that. Yes, I know, we are all tough and strong and totally in charge at all times, but let’s not kid ourselves into thinking that somehow excludes being totally in charge over letting ourselves go.
Cuddle sex is something you just couldn’t pay for, because it takes actual care from someone you actually care about. So, here are some profound insights into what will come totally naturally to you, once you find the right partner for it. Still, a few pointers can’t hurt, right?
Cuddle sex is something special because it requires mutual weakness and vulnerability from both of you, and likely more than each of you is really comfortable with. Regular sex often enough creates a strange sense of distance, or brings pressure to perform into the mix. You aren’t really connected in mind even as your bodies do connect, and that creates a dissonance that cuddle sex can solve.
Cuddling is vulnerability above all other things, because you are giving yourself into the care of someone else. Sex can be both weak and strong, it can be a flirt or a negotiation, hard or soft - but there is no way to appear strong while you are letting someone touch you in places that mess with your mind more than your body, for no good reason other than that you want it.
You are looking deep into each other’s eyes, probably just inches between them, you can feel each other’s breath and even a whisper reaches your eyes like yelling because you are so close.
Try to skip the penetration for once
This is weird, but if it works for you two, then it can be one of the most caring, cute forms of sex that a couple can have. Make it all more about the cuddling and the massaging, the smiling and giggling and telling each other stories with your eyes. Often enough, the penetration portion of sex detracts and distracts more than it adds. I love it when you touch and explore me with your fingers, when you try to understand the things I can’t properly communicate. If you react to my reactions, we are both bound to have a great time, and I will be utterly lost in your arms.
And for you, chances are that you can reach an orgasm just fine along the way, without ever having to fuck me. All you really need is friction, and the right mindset to step back your ego just a tad to allow yourself that giggling fun of being unable to contain yourself any longer. Rub your dick against my butt, or use my thighs pressed together around your dick, until you spill and get my whole legs messed up, and my mind. Sex is so much fun that way, when you do things differently.
Save it for the odd hours
There is just something about the late nights and early mornings, when neither of us can keep both eyes open at the same time. Cuddle sex works best when your mind is starting to fray, when you know you should really be asleep by now, but can’t.
Wake me up in the middle of the night and tell me you can’t sleep, and then listen to me endlessly bickering about how you just ripped me from the best of dreams, one where I was tired, but in the arms of someone I trust deeply. And then, watch me wrap my arm around you, ask you what keeps you awake, and then I will really try to listen, for as long as you need me. Just make sure to keep me awake with your fingers, your lips on mine, and your whispers in my ear.
The sex is the middle of the road, not the end of it
The great difference between cuddly and regular sex is that it does not really end, not before you finally are too tired to stay awake. You cuddle each other towards the point where you have sex, and once that is over it goes right back to cuddling, smiling, talking about things that needed saying, or don’t.
I have had some of my most memorable orgasms right in the middle of talking about dinner plans or work assignments, because yes, you can totally talk sense to me while working me senseless.